When I say I’m a single mom I sometimes feel like a bit of a fraud. I look at friends of mine who are truly on their own with their kids, who don’t even know their fathers from any other stranger on the street. Moms who have absolutely no time for themselves, or money for simple luxuries like hair dye. I have a lot of respect for these moms, all of them so much younger than me.
I feel like an absolute brat planning my social life weeks in advance because I know my schedule. I never have to worry about baby sitters and can even go away for a weekend when I feel like it. I find myself eagerly looking forward to my weekends off because I can sleep in and go shopping and laze around all day reading my book. The moms I know (even the married ones) don’t have the luxury of as much free time as I have.
I’m so used to a maximum of 3 nights with Aurora that, with her dad being very sick this week, I am on my 7th night with her and I’m exhausted. And I feel like a shit because I am tired and looking forward to my weekend.
Joint custody definitely has its perks, but at the same time I am incredibly sad that I am missing out on literally half of my daughter’s life – time that I will never get back. I decided to give up on moving her to her own bed. She’s not with me every night, and honestly there is no better feeling in the world when she wraps her arms around me in the middle of the night, or showers me with kisses when she wakes in the morning. I don’t want to take that away from her – or myself.
So to the truly single moms I absolutely take my hat off to you. You are to be respected and honoured, and I know you are raising a new generation of happy independent kids.