Why is my baby sad?

Aurora woke up this morning in tears. Crying big crocodile heartfelt tears and was holding on to me so tight I don’t know whether it was a dream or a nightmare or what was bugging her? It broke my heart to see her like that and the only thing that seemed to calm her was big mommy hugs…

Her dad told me 2 weeks ago that he’s probably going to break up with his girlfriend of 8 months (whom he was planning on marrying) because there is not enough “balance” in the relationship – whatever that means.  He thinks that they will remain great friends, and the impact on Aurora will be minimal because they were never intimate around her – ie no holding hands, kissing, hugging etc.

Aurora was with him this last weekend, and when I called on Saturday she very specifically told me that Adelaide wasn’t there so i couldn’t say hello. In fact, I don’t think Adelaide was there the whole weekend, although Aurora did see her at church on Sunday morning. Aurora adores her – and the feeling is mutual. I’ve had to bite my tongue when my daughter says “I love you” to this other woman who could well have been her step-mother. Is this why my child is sad at night and when she wakes in the morning? Is it because she is missing someone who became quite a big part of her life?

Irrespective of what he thinks, I can see my child is sad, and it’s awful because I feel helpless – the only thing I can do is tell her how much I love her and just hold and hug her until she’s had enough and the tears have subsided…

I’ve said from the day my husband and I separated that when I start dating someone and it becomes a serious relationship I would need an absolute minimum of 6 months with this person before I let my child start spending any significant amount of time with them. I don’t want to be responsible for breaking my daughter’s heart when someone she loves isn’t around anymore.


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