I’m ok

I think.

I have a lot on my plate at the moment, and I really thinking I should be freaking out more. But I’m not. I don’t know if I’m maybe just emotionally cut off from my life or what, but I don’t feel like the world is ending.

Let me explain.

My ex-husband has opened a case of theft against me for using the money in my daughter’s savings account. Money that she has earned from her modelling work, and that I’ve been depositing for her over the last 3 years. The idea was to give her access to the account when she turns 18 and say “happy birthday my girl, you’ve finished school it’s time to experience life. Travel, buy a car, pay first year varsity fees”.

With her dad not paying maintenance when he moved out things got financially tight for me. I withdrew and deposited money as needed. I refused to take money out the account for him to borrow, so he ran to the cops and laid a charge of theft.

I’ve provided proof of deposits, my costs involved in getting her around as well as the cost of me being out the office and the investigating officer is pretty convinced that I’ll be ok and the charges will get thrown out.

To that end, I’ve now spent the last few days combing through instant message and email conversations finding every single line where he’s threatened or intimidated me. Once I know the charges are dropped and the case is closed I’ll be getting a protection order against him. This is the 3rd or 4th time he’s tried to get me arrested and I think his end goal is to have me locked up so he can get custody.

I’m also unemployed for the second time this year. I’m seriously thinking this is the perfect opportunity to evaluate what I really want to be doing for a living. Honestly I was hating the last job and I’ve never been more sick in such a short space of time as I was working there. Guess that tells me something.

Through all this I’m just focused on my baby. My gorgeous little girl that I wake up for every morning. The amazing treasure in my life that tells me every day how much she loves me and wraps her arms around me when she sleeps. The little mischief madam who struts around like a boss while I literally have to beg and plead and nag for her to do as I say. My little girl who is my life. My absolute love.

5 thoughts on “I’m ok

  1. Cindy says:

    Stay strong for you and your precious baby girl.

  2. The Ninja Mommy says:

    There is a phenomenal amount on your plate right now. Big strongs to you…sometimes as painful as it is the universe gives a great big thump to show us the direction we need to be going in, and to remind us of the things we sometimes forget along the way. It will be ok. I get so frustrated when I head about her father and his needing to get to you…Ive been through the same….all I want to do is shake them and say ‘Dont you get that its not about us anymore…its about our child..no matter how much you hate me…SHE loves both of us equally!’ She will pick up on her dads attempts at bringing you down and I feel angry on your behalf right now!

    • Tash says:

      You know what pisses me off beyond measure – like really really makes me that angry that I could… I won’t say but you know what I mean?

      On Sunday my child says to me “my daddy says you must give my money back”. He’s told her that I lie and that I steal. Last week he accused me of teaching her that lying and stealing is ok and that I must be honest about why the police were at my house.

      You know what I told her? Only that Daddy said I was naughty and sent the police to talk to me. I didn’t badmouth him. I didn’t accuse him of being a spiteful bastard who’s only gripe is that I refused to give him money out the account.

      I will now have to sit her down, and explain that what I did was not wrong. But he has tainted me in her eyes. How do I ever undo that damage?

    • Tash says:

      Oh and, I forgot to mention – the accusations of child abuse and child labour – I’m waiting for the social workers to contact me (apparently they don’t have more serious cases to deal with)

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