What i really feel like doing.

Is just give up. Just walk away. Accept the fact that my creditors  are going to come after me. Give up and stop applying for jobs everyday. Admit defeat and accept that I’m a failure that won’t amount to anything more than just a waitron in a family restaurant. Be single and sad and unemployed and just a burden on everyone, completely incapable of supporting myself.

I always feel down and hopeless when my daughter is with her dad. I’m afraid that I’m starting to use her as an emotional crutch to keep myself focussed, which is why when she isn’t here all i want to do is cry and hide out in my room. Which is what i am currently doing.

Or maybe I’m just hiding how i really am feeling from her, because she’s little and she doesn’t need to know that mommy is so unhappy…

But i have to fight.

Love for my daughter won’t allow me to give up.  Every morning that i wake up means i have another chance, another day to make things right for us again.

I have to keep going.


3 thoughts on “What i really feel like doing.

  1. mummyshymz says:

    You go girl! Things will get better!

  2. Greg Walsh says:

    Keep fighting the good fight, be strong. the only Good will come from keeping a positive attitude. opportunity will never come knocking on your door, YOU have to go out and look for those opportunities.

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