Wow, quite a difficult topic this one… I guess it makes you really sit down and think about how you want to change yourself in order to change your life. It’s not something I’d discuss with anybody, but the questions asked on myrenaissanceblog make you sit down and really think about the answer.
What would I change about myself? There are a few things I’d change about myself (I guess all of us have something we want differently), but I think the biggest thing I want to change for the better is my ability to stand up for myself, to be more forceful (but not in a negative way) and taken seriously. To stop being such a damn pushover. I’ve picked some pretty messed up relationships in the past (not limited to intimate relationships, I’ve had friendships that have just drained me too). A lot of the time I feel like all I do is give and give and give and try to help to make someone else’s life a little easier. And then what happens is I end up being taken advantage of and it pisses me off, but I’d rather avoid the confrontation and just leave things be, even if it makes me unhappy or angry. I have experienced this over and over again, and I always come off second best.
Why did I pick this challenge? This challenge is different. You don’t know what the topic is going to be tomorrow or next week, so you’re forced to really sit down in the moment and think about what you want to share. When the topics are given to you a full month in advance it can derail the whole process because you’ll be aware of a topic scheduled for later in the month that will either put you off finishing the challenge, or it will give you time to formulate a post that won’t reflect your true self or feelings. The anticipation of the next topic is what will keep me coming back for the whole month 🙂
What about it is so difficult for you? At this stage, finding the energy to actually sit down and spend a few minutes on my own with my blog and put my thoughts down into words. I’ve been good today 😀 I think that my answer to this question may actually change as we get further into the challenge.