Happy 2014

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I usually don’t like to make resolutions because we all know that they just fall by the wayside when we get distracted by life.

All I  want this year is to live more, do more,  be more.

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Hello blog, my old friend…

I know I abandoned you for such a long time and I’m so sorry. I got caught up with life, not all good unfortunately, but I’m refocusing on me.

2013 is coming to an end and I’m looking forward to starting off 2014 with a clear mind and heart. And a lot of fun I think is definitely in order ūüôā

For now, I’m spending my holiday surfing (trying to), hanging with friends, skating, movies, books, puzzles, and wine farms.

Sounds good right?

We’ll catch up in the new year!

Well Hello there 2013 :)

Wow. The start of another year. I have say that I am very happy to see the back of 2012, and I’m looking forward to basically starting from scratch going forward.

I’ve never really been one for making resolutions – my only resolution usually is not to make any resolutions – that way I won’t be disappointed if I don’t stick to them.

This year though there are several things that I need to achieve:

1. Starting off with finding a job that I can thrive in, that I can grow into and move my career forward.

2. From that a new family home for Aurora and myself and my menagerie should be within reach. That will be my main focus for this year.

3. Spend more time with family, my cousins and sister and nieces… my other sister and her family are moving down from Joburg at the end of May and I can’t wait to have her and all the kids close so I can spend time with them.

4. Take Aurora to Durban for a weekend, just to take her to Ushaka. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, but haven’t managed to get around to it. I’d also really like to take Aurora camping.¬†I also need to plan a trip to visit my granddad. Aurora just turned 4 and has never met my Grandpa… ¬†I need to do this as I feel like time is running out…

5. Spend more time with quality friends… I have those few who make plans and then flake at the last minute. As much as I enjoy their company when I’m with them, I need to reserve my time exclusively for the ones who have the time for me.¬†

6. Avoid getting involved with emotionally unavailable men. You’re either with me or you’re not. ¬†

7.  Start entering more runs/walks, train properly and enter and complete at least one half marathon this year. Focus on my physical health and mental well-being. Stop worrying about what one person thinks or says or does and just focus on being happy with my child and my life. 

I think those are my main areas of focus for this year. Not a bad start and all totally achievable. I may revisit and revise, adding new stuff to this list as I go, but this is the closest I’ve ever come to making a proper resolution list.

Let’s get this year started!

My Santa Wish List

Dear Santa,

I’m not sure what’s up, I’ve been a good girl but this has been a most trying year for me.

Losing 2 jobs and dealing with a bitter ex has left me feeling exhausted and run down. All I want is something small to help me relax, take a load off and go into the new year with my head held high and the confidence to take on the world! Since I know that this is not a physical gift but rather something I need to do for myself, perhaps one of the following would help ūüôā

– delicious bath foams and body lotions make me happy….
– a light hearted book that I can indulge in for a few hours
– some music – it always soothes my soul and elevates my mood. I hear Look & Listen let’s you download the latest albums in MP3 directly off their website for on R99!!!
– an amazing bottle of wine… or 2…. I enjoy a beautiful pinotage or shiraz…

I Think these gifts, together with a determination to make 2013 the best year ever will help bring in the new year with a bang!!

Thank you Santa! And Merry Christmas to you and your family!

End of Year Fatigue

Well I cannot believe tomorrow is November! ¬†I’m already feeling that “end of year fatigue” that I think is quite common this time of year.¬†

It’s been a stressful year for me. At the beginning of the year I was so amped because everything in my life seemed to be on track for a change! I had finalized my divorce after a very long and difficult 14 months of separation. I finally moved into a beautiful family HOUSE – not a flat, house – and 2012 was looking so good!

Then things started coming apart at the seams… work got very stressful, and I eventually got retrenched. That freaked me out more than I ever thought it would. So much so that even after being incredibly lucky and offered new employment within a month, I still somehow managed to get “diagnosed” with depression and prescribed anti-depressants and sleeping tablets… this really affected my waking hours (felt so spaced out) that the first 2 months of my new job are actually a major blur!! Whoa!!! How the hell did that happen?

It’s taken me pretty much up to now to start feeling some kind of positive about life again – and on some days I’m really excited about the potential I have with my job, but some days I think that I can’t do this. It’s frustrating because I still feel like I’m going up and down all the time and can’t seem to make up my mind whether I’m actually happy or not. I’m not taking the meds because I hate the way they make me feel. But maybe with the up and down I should chat about other options?

And now I’m tired and in the middle of trying to find a new home from 1 December. Looking for a suitable place is time consuming and exhausting. I found a gorgeous, huge house yesterday which I’ve applied for to share with my cousin, but we’re still a bit short on the required income so we may need a 3rd applicant on the lease. We’re chatting to my other cousin about it tonight but I think that we’ll probably lose out to someone else by tomorrow!

I have applied all over for places and waiting to hear back really freaks me out. I just want to find a place where I can feel comfortable and be happy – and¬†preferably have all my animals with me! I think once this uncertainty of where I’ll be in 5 weeks time goes away I will feel like I can breathe again.

Honestly, 2012 can’t end soon enough for me. I want to go into 2013 with a clear mind, and a fresh new focus. ¬†

And I think 2013 will bring a new tattoo – I’m thinking of having the words “Gratitude¬†& Patience”¬†tattooed down my left side (under the arm, in line with my heart). Gratitude – to remind me to be thankful for all that I have, family, friends, love. Patience to remind myself that I have the strength to endure – to not worry about what I can’t control. Patience with myself and the ones I love most.